Comic Con 2008 - TRON 2 (TR2N)

Here is bootlegged footage of that teaser that Disney surprised everyone with. There is probably a better version out there and there will, without a doubt, be a Quicktime version soon, but here it is anyway.

Did we ask for a Tron 2? No.

Do we need a Tron 2? No.

Want? Meh.

Will I see it...possibly drunk or high? Yes.

Knight Rider - Fair Enough.

The Knight Rider TV movie that premiered last February boiled down to two hours of KITT driving to Vegas and back to L.A. You think I'm kidding? Watch it. So the hungry masses screamed, "We need more action!"

Instead of finding a happy medium, they gave us this.

So KITT's a transformer now? Fair enough.

Mick Jagger Turns 65; Is Eligible For Pension

Mick Jagger celebrates his 65th birthday on Saturday; this makes him eligible for basic state pension of just under $180 a week.

In other news, he also took your daughter to prom. She had the best sex she's ever had in her life. Keith bought her boyfriend booze, distracting him from the whole evening. Charlie sat quietly in the limo. Ronnie was just happy to be invited.

Aliens Have Visited Earth--Confirmed.

Moon-walker Dr Edgar Mitchell Claims Alien Contact Cover-up
Featured
"there has been visitation"
July 24, 2008 12:01am

FORMER NASA astronaut and moon-walker Dr Edgar Mitchell - a veteran of the Apollo 14 mission - has stunningly claimed aliens exist.

And he says extra-terrestrials have visited Earth on several occasions - but the alien contact has been repeatedly covered up by governments for six decades.

Dr Mitchell, 77, said during a radio interview that sources at the space agency who had had contact with aliens described the beings as 'little people who look strange to us.'

He said supposedly real-life ET's were similar to the traditional image of a small frame, large eyes and head.

Chillingly, he claimed our technology is "not nearly as sophisticated" as theirs and "had they been hostile", he warned "we would be been gone by now".

'Mirrors'

This sweet baby is from the upcoming horror flick 'Mirrors' starring Keifer Sutherland and Amy Smart.

Jesus, Rosie Perez. Get your shit together.

Rosie really came to Letterman prepared on Friday. She referred to her 'Pineapple Express' co-star as Seth "Rogaine" (and no, that wasn't her accent at work), she didn't really know who wrote the movie, and kind of had an idea as to what clip they were going to show. That's why she's dominating Hollywood.

Chappelle's Show - Player Haters Ball

Here it is. Finally. My absolute favorite Chappelle's Show skit. The Player Haters Ball.

Step Brothers - "Show and Tell"

See more Will Ferrell videos at Funny or Die

Chappelle's Show - Black Bush

"Me and Jeb just came back from Africa..."

"Cradle of fuckin' civilization!"

The Dark Knight & Trailers

We caught the midnight showing of The Dark Knight last night and I have to say that it was good. No, it's not the perfect, master's thesis of cinema that some of the reviews are claming it to be. However, Heath did give the performance of his career; it kinda makes you wonder if you would want to be remembered as a character such as DK's Joker. Watch for his magic trick. The dude is crazy. Rest of the cast is solid as always but Maggie G suffered the same fate as Katie Holmes in Begins. We came to the decision that the Rachel Dawes character is simply too weak and definitely could have been strengthened.
I found the movie long. Some may disagree with me; that's totally fine. I'll refer back to my King Kong statement: Did this NEED to be two and a half hours? No. Did we NEED all the twists, turns, and plot points that were shoved down our throats? No. Are we glad we were force fed everything that is The Dark Knight? Yes.

I don't want to go too much into it--I'm a fan of giving people opening weekend before I throw my full two cents at them.

Now to the trailers. There were some good ones. I'll leave out the Ridley Scott-DiCaprio-Crowe one because i wasn't impressed. But here's Terminator: Salvation and Watchmen.

OLD School! Y'all Better Learn This Shit.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I love that I found this again online. I thought it would be lost forever. Joel, Luke, and I used to quote this shit constantly. Now I'm passing it on to the new generation; I already have Jen saying, "C'mon in ya broke motherfuckers."

Outlander - Jesus?

That's right, it's Jim "Jesus" Caviezel, towering over a pile of vikings. The story is simple, Jesus comes from the stars and aids the Norsemen in their battle against an alien being. Just like in The Bible. Makes sense to me; fuck you for rolling your eyes.

Heroes: Villains

Meh. After the fucking trainwreck that was Season 2, the peacock is gonna have to do a hell of a lot more to get me excited about Heroes. Noah talking about bad guys isn't gonna do it.

Max Payne(?)

Okay, I played the Max Payne video game way back when. It was simply about a man taking revenge for his wife and baby being slaughtered. Now there's this movie. Way too much talk about the forces of evil and divinity. Is that an Angel dragging a man out of a window?

UPDATE: Nevermind, I seem to recall the game having drug induced dream sequences. Mostly about death. So I think we're all good. Go get 'em Mark.

Rain Of Madness

A trailer for the Tropic Thunder mocumentary.

Counting The F'ing Seconds...

The Dark Knight--July 18th--is gathering nearly perfect reviews. It's at 100% (at time of this post)on Rottentomatos.com and is being called a Crime-Drama Masterpiece. For a great read, check out Peter Travers' Rolling Stone review of the movie. It makes it sounds like The f'ing Godfather.

Happy Fourth Of July From The Muppets

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Gets funnier the more you watch it.

The Lilypad Cities

Belgian architect Vincent Callebaut has offered a long term solution to the long term looming threat of rising sea levels. Lilypad Cities. You read that right. Based off the Amazonia Victoria Regia lilypad (duh) these floating cities will float outside coastal cities and act as relief to the millions left homeless from submerged islands. The mighty lilipad, he says, will be able to sail anywhere in the world and will be entirely eco-friendly. Carbon dioxide and waste will be recycled for energy and the entire city will be emission free as there will be no vehicles.

These little babies could be operational within the next century.

UPDATE: Fuck this. Lilypad Cities!? Who are we kidding? Never happening.

Watermelon Will Get You Laid This 4th Of July.

Watermelons contain an ingredient called citrulline that can trigger production of a compound that helps relax the body's blood vessels, similar to what happens when a man takes Viagra, said scientists in Texas, one of the nation's top producers of the seedless variety.

Expect watermelon to be sold out this year.

Aliens Spotted At Wimbledon; May Be Humans In Masks

Two humans wearing faceless masks were spotted in the crowd at Wimbledon. The UK Press has ruled out an alien invasion. But seriously, first the Hadron Collider (which Tommy insists is a good thing), then the goopy mess in the China coasts, now THESE clowns!?

Will no one take this seriously?

Dave Chappelle - Sesame Street

I still, after all these years, find everything that Dave Chappelle says and does absolutely hilarious. This is from his Pre-Chappelle's Show stand up in D.C.

"BITCH, I LIVE IN A FUCKING TRASH CAN!"

Zero Punctuation - Web Comics

This is a new edition to the blog that I will be adding each week--every Wednesday actually. Ben "Yahtzee" Crowhsaw reviews video games and gaming events for The Escapist magazine. His intense stream of conciousness and Window's Movie Maker videos featuring stick figures make some of these pretty hilarious.

For a good time--only if you're into gaming, of course--check out his reviews for Devil May Cry 4 and GTA 4. They are hilarious.

Arrested Development

Recently, at the Hellboy II premiere, Jeffery Tambor revealed that the Arrested Development movie is for sure going to happen. I can't wait. This was, without a doubt, the greatest loss to TV in recent memory; to have it back in any form is wonderful.

Enjoy Michael being called a chicken.

UPDATE: I REALLY hope they bring Carl Weathers back.